he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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