I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Be still, my beating vagina.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
