brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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