Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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