I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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