i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
