i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We are two peas in an std pod
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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