Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
