I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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