I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
