stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
