Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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