I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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