his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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