I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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