I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
