He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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