i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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