There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
