..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
