Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
