dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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