"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
