Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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