do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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