...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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