Don't you send me to vm
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
