Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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