I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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