you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
