Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
