i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
