I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
