If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But break dance skills will only take you so far
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
