what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
