Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
