Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
