Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
