I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
