I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
40s are totally the cure
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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