well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
