I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
