doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
