Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
