Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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