And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
