yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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