Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize