You don't have asthma, your pregnant
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
