i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
