I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
