That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
