Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
