I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
