i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
