Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
