Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
