goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
