my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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