I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
