Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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