The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
