i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
