just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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