Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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