just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
