i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
