This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Randomize
