sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She announced her abortion via fbk
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
